ANGER MANAGEMENT Controlling your anger is one of the most difficult things to do, and can be a serious challenge. Anger and sorrow are the only emotions which cannot be dealt easily. However, in this guide you'll find ways to help you better control your anger, aiming to stay relaxed and cool minded. Don't worry, you don't have to act like a happy person on the outside while on the inside you are boiling with rage. If you follow this guide properly, then the chances are high that you'll keep a cool mind most of the time when you're feeling angry.
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Part One: Keeping Your Mind Clear
Get adequate sleep. Ideally an adult person should sleep a maximum 8 hours a day, give or take an hour either side for personal makeup. If you sleep well, then your mind has a chance to clear itself of the toxins that build up during waking hours.[1] This restores and refreshes your brain, allowing you to function at full alertness, with all of your thinking capacity on board. A refreshed brain is able to make tough decisions faster and your IQ is maintained properly. If you do not sleep enough you will feel sluggish and slow, which may cloud your thoughts and start your day off badly. Feeling tired is often a reason people turn to anger more quickly, because of confusion and inability to deal with complex issues.
Try meditation. After you wake-up every morning, try meditating. Meditation is an important way to teach yourself how to concentrate on a particular thing more easily. This ability to cope better with distraction will enable you to focus more at work and in your social life, minimizing the possibility that you'll let your mind wander. If you lose the ability to focus, you can feel irritable and can perceive threats that aren't really there, risking turning small issues into a much bigger deal than they deserve to be. A focused mind is less likely to react angrily to daily events.- Meditation teaches people how to be mindful. This allows you to accept things rather than getting angry with them. It doesn't mean accepting bad situations; rather, it gives you the energy to do something constructive about them rather than responding in a destructive way.
- Meditation also gives calmness to your mind and body; it helps your brain to relax, unwind and stop chasing thoughts around and around.
Part Two: Managing Angry Feelings
- Control the irritation. If somebody disturbs you, or if something is happening which is irritating to you, then try not to react immediately. Feeling irritable is the first step to becoming angry, so it pays to try and soothe yourself and let go of the irritation. Some ways to work around feeling irritable include:
- Irritation can be a sign that you have pushed yourself too far and need a break or a change in perspective. Have you been working several hours straight without taking a break? Stop now and go outside for a short walk or do some stretches away from your desk or workspace.
- Irritation might also mean that you're thirsty or hungry, so check that and deal with it quickly. If you're the sort of person who is easily made irritable when hungry or thirsty, put in place a plan to ensure that you refill frequently, even if this means keeping a water bottle and energy bar on your person through the day.
- Tell yourself immediately that people who interrupt you are not doing this to offend you. It can be frightening enough for a person who knows that they may get an irritable reaction without actually getting snapped or glared at.
- Learn to recompose yourself with ease. Ways to get back to your work quickly include telling someone that you'll be with them in just a second, while you quickly mark the place you were reading/writing or make mental notes that will allow you to get back into things after the interruption. Meditation can help you to restore composure with ease.
- Teach yourself to not explode. It may feel like it's the only way to release your frustration and irritation, but once it's out, it cannot be taken back. Exploding in anger can lose relationships, jobs and opportunities. People are less forgiving of angry outbursts in modern times, as it is clear that one can choose to be explosively bad-tempered or one can choose not to be––it's not an innate character trait. Basically, it's a bad habit. Anger is also harmful for your health and getting angry often and being constantly short-tempered may lead to heart troubles, ulcers and stress-related disorders.
- Find ways to self calm. This may be something you can do on your own, or it may be something that you'll need help with, such as from a therapist. Don't delay seeking ways to calm yourself, as you'll find it makes your life a whole lot easier. Anger burns a lot of energy and that energy can be put to better use, such as being creative, building things or connecting with people more fruitfully.
- Give people fair warning that you feel pressured or disturbed. Simply tell people that you're doing some important work and would not like to be disturbed. Let them know you'll be happy to talk another time, just not right now.
- Move to another place. This solution works either to remove yourself from a situation in which you feel like you might otherwise explode, or when you feel constantly pressured by someone else who insists on continually disturbing you. Simply move to a place where you feel calmer and where you can't be bothered.
- For example, if you are confronted by someone and you feel like you're about to let rip, excuse yourself quickly (if you can, promise to be back shortly), and leave the room. It may seem rude to leave quickly, but given the alternative of shouting out obscenities at the top of your voice if you stay, leaving is the better choice. Use the time out to soothe yourself, then come back and apologize, and resume the discussion calmly.
- Another example is where someone keeps disturbing you. Hunt around for a spot where people aren't so likely to find you, and bunker down in there until you get done what you need to do. For an office worker or student, this may be writing or researching in the library instead of an office or desk, or it could mean finding a room somewhere else with a door that can be locked. You can also use technology to keep people away for a time, such as sending replies that you're not available or sending messages through to voicemail.
- Remind yourself of the consequences of exploding in anger. Value your relationships, health and well-being by not giving in to anger as a way of life. It is true that there is such a thing as healthy anger––anger can motivate you to make changes in your life and to extract yourself from unhealthy relationships. But it is important to know that such self-awakening anger is not a constant life companion, nor is it violent or explosive. If you do feel angry all of the time, no matter what is happening in your life, it would be wise to seek expert help to tackle it.
- Bring some humor into your life, to balance the serious moments. Watch comedy serials and read books which contains jokes. Keep your mind light.
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- The most important thing is to maintain your control and composure. When you lose either of these, you lose your own self entirely.
- People have long memories of an angry person. For some, it may mean that you cannot connect with them again, owing to their fear of you. For others, they may dismiss you as unreliable, untrustworthy and too volatile to trust. Such interpretations of your angry behavior can negatively impact your career, your home life and your social life.
- Eat healthily. Skip the expense and confusion of trying to work out which supplements and medicines are good for your brain. Instead, eat a wide variety of vegetables and healthy foods; unprocessed and whole food will maintain your brain and will also help to increase your brain power. Some of the best foods to eat include: beets, sage, eggs, yerba mate, oats, lentils, ground flaxseed, walnuts, green vegetables and salads. Eat all food in balanced quantities.
Edit Warnings
- Don't act happy on the outside but live angry on the inside. This is like a timebomb, ticking away until you risk exploding when you least expect it. If you are suffering, seek help and rearrange the things that aren't working out for you in life.
- Remember that medical professionals are always there to help. Anger management is a valid and common issue for many people, never feel alone. There are always forums and websites and online communities there for support. If you feel like you need help, reach out. Do not suffer alone.