How to Accept Constructive Criticism

From singing to soccer, we all have our forte, and the ultimate goal for us is to improve in that skill. It can be hard sometimes to accept the advice or criticism you may receive from peers in that area, or even at work or in school. With a little bit of assistance, you can learn to accept constructive criticism and use it to your benefit.

Edit Steps

Part 1: Assessing the Validity of the Criticism

Consider the source. Some people simply like to give their opinion, whether or not it is valid. If the person critiquing you is not a coach, a teacher/tutor, someone who is skilled or experienced in the given area, your boss or an instructor, it's possible that their criticism isn't accurate. If you are aware that the person offering "criticism" lacks the skill or knowledge, be discerning and realistic about just how much this person does know. Before you take any criticism you are given to heart, consider first who it came from and what their motives for giving it to you may be.
- There will be some people out there who seek to hurt you with their "constructive criticism" because they are insecure or jealous of your talent.
- Signs that someone may be criticizing you without foundation include: a mean-spirited attack, an inability to ever point out at least one positive thing, acting superior or arrogant, failing to give detailed advice that can be followed through reasonably, lack of analytical explanation, boasting about their own "experience", sneering, snobbery or condescension, hogging the limelight, being hidebound by a strict interpretation of rules (as decided by the critic), or being rude and dismissive.

Distinguish constructive criticism from real criticism. Constructive criticism is when someone lists a few areas you could work on to improve your performance, with concrete facts and sensible advice accompanying the list. It is given to you solely because the critic wants to help you improve for your own sake. Criticism is when someone tells you your faults in order to bring you down or make themselves feel better. Criticism should rarely ever be taken seriously, unless it comes from an event judge, a boss, or a teacher.

Part 2: Learning from Constructive Criticism

Listen carefully to the constructive criticism. It can be second nature to mentally shut down when someone begins talking about your flaws, but it is important to keep your mind open to what is said. Most of the time when you listen to the criticism and take it seriously, you can learn about weak spots you may have and even how to improve them. Listening to your critics is an important step to improving in your hobby, schoolwork, or job.

Analyze the criticism. This aspect is crucial to benefiting from constructive criticism. By pushing yourself through the pain of realizing what needs fixing, you will grow and improve. Things to consider include:
- Is the criticism something you have heard before? The more you hear the same criticism, the more this indicates a red flag that you need to deal with the issue.
- Did you know this was one of your weak spots? Often there is a part inside that knows there is room for improvement. Seize on the external observation as confirmation this aspect of your skill/attitude/approach, etc. needs more work.
- Ask others what they think. Have they noticed that you need help in this area as well? Let's say that you are a basketball player, and your coach tells you that your left layups need some work. Instead of rolling your eyes and going back on the court, think. Have you missed many left layups in the past season? Have you even tried to shoot any? If you aren't sure, ask a close teammate or a family member who comes to many of your games if they've noticed your left layups are lacking.

Work on the critiqued skill. Whatever you need help with won't improve overnight. You have to be determined to make it work for you, as this is the entire point of constructive criticism. Working hard on the skill will help you improve in that area as a whole.
- Ask for more advice. The constructive critic has a responsibility once he or she has let loose the criticism––and that is follow-up. If you want to know more, it's okay to ask the critic questions that will help to guide your improvement. In fact, this is a great way of fathoming whether or not your critic knows what he or she is talking about!

Keep your head up. Part of being a team player, whether it is in class, at the office, or on the track, is all about working to improve your abilities in order to give to everyone else. There will be multiple things you need to work on aloud the way, and that's okay. Just keep your head up and remind yourself that you are talented and you can better yourself.

Edit Tips

Reflect on how often you criticize others. While you may sometimes feel unfairly on the receiving end of criticism, most people will do their own share of criticizing at some point in time. The more aware you are of how it feels to receive criticism will alert you to the need to take care in how you deliver feedback to people, so that it is considerate of their feelings while still highlighting the need for changes that will help them to improve.

Sometimes, the best thing to do when you are aware that someone is criticizing from a place of superiority or inferiority, is to fail to engage with the criticism. You could choose to ignore it, choose to respond only to anything positive that was said, change the subject or respond with a simple "Really?", said in a tone that undercuts their rudeness.

Being able to accept and learn from constructive criticism is a sign of maturity and wisdom. It's telling that there are some people in their 80s who still cringe at anything they perceive as criticism, while some teens can thrive on criticism; it's not about age, it's about your perspective and the sooner you choose to discern between beneficial criticism and the flotsam of people's poor thoughts made vocal, the sooner you will navigate life with less emotional baggage.

Edit Warnings

If you have to work, live or socialize with someone who constantly criticizes you, this can quickly go from being constructive to destructive, even if the person is expert or knowledgeable. In this case, you will need to talk to them openly and firmly about how their constant criticizing causes you to feel and what you expect in the future. If the other person is not capable of minimizing the criticism, you may need to consider ways of distancing yourself and shoring up your defenses against their barbs.