How to Stay out of Trouble

Do you always find yourself in detention? Grounded every weekend? Getting in fights with your peers? If this is you, then it's time to take action to stay out of trouble before the situation escalates. Don't worry, though: no matter how bad of shape you're in, if you make an effort to find good influences in your life, as well as something you're passionate about, you'll be back on track in no time. To learn how to stay out of trouble, see Step 1 to get started.

EditSteps

EditHaving Good Influences

Follow your instincts. You may have gotten into trouble in the past because you didn't follow your instincts. If your instincts are telling you that something is a bad idea, or that some person is not worth hanging out with, then you should trust them and stay away. Don't be afraid to trust your gut if it's telling you to run 100 miles in the other direction. If you have a sense that something is wrong, even if you can't pinpoint why, then chances are, you're right.
- In general, if a friend suggests that you do something and you have to question it even once, then it's time to back off.

Spend time with your family. As long as your family is a place where you feel safe and loved, you should spend as much time as you can with the members of your family so that you are surrounded by positive influences. Sure, it may not feel cool to have movie night with mom and dad or to help your kid sister with her science project, but your family will always be there for you, and it's important to build a healthy bond with your family members as much as you can.
- When you're hanging out with your family, you won't have a chance to get in trouble, will you? It's really true that idle hands make the devil's work, and the more time you spend with your family, the less time you'll be spending looking for -- and getting into -- trouble.
- Make a weekly routine for yourself. Have family night every weekend, time for doing chores during the week, and time for helping out your siblings at least once or twice a week.

Avoid the wrong people. The people who may be getting you in trouble may be your very best friends. If that's the case, then it's time to find some new best friends. Sure, that may not be what you wanted to hear, but if you really want to stay out of trouble, then you can't hang out with the same people who got you into detention. Sure, if you and all of your friends have decided to stay out of trouble together, that's another thing, but how often does that happen? It's time to slowly back away from the people who are causing you to harm your own reputation as kindly and as politely as possible.
- You may think that you can decide to stay on track while staying friends with people who are always getting into trouble, but unfortunately, you'll still be associated with them, and will be much more likely to get in trouble for something they did, even if you were innocent. Nobody said this was fair.

Make friends who are positive influences. If you're friends with people who are good students, have meaningful goals, and live positive lives, then you're very likely to have them rub off on you. If you're only friends with negative troublemakers, then you're much more likely to be one. Though it may be hard to immediately find new friends who are doing great in school, look around your classes or your neighborhood and see if you can find people who seem nice, friendly, and willing to take in a straggler. Soon, you'll see that you're staying out of trouble by doing fun things with new, likeminded people.
- You can find these friends in clubs or sports teams (more on that in the next section) or by participating in a variety of other activities.

Develop positive relationships with your teachers. Another great way to stay out of trouble is to develop a strong bond with your teachers, or at least some of them. This doesn't mean you have to suck up to them or try to be their best friend, but it does mean that you should be a good student, show up to class on time, come in for extra help, and ask useful questions during class to show that you care. If you're off to a rough start with some of your teachers, know that you can win them over with enough hard work and effort, even if it does take time.
- Being on your teacher's good sides is an excellent way to stay out of trouble. If they like you, they will be less likely to punish you or to find fault with you.

Find a role model. Having a role model that you really look up to can help you succeed and to make the right decisions. Your role model can be your mom or dad, an older sibling, a teacher at school, a family friend in the neighborhood, a club or church leader, a grandparent, or really anyone who inspires you to do well in life. You can come to this person for advice on how to not only stay out of trouble, but on how to do something meaningful with your life.
- A role model that you can come to regularly can end up being one of the biggest and most long-lasting influences on your life. It's important to find a person who is living a life that you admire. This doesn't mean that your role model has to be perfect -- if he made mistakes along the way and learned from them, then even better.

EditStaying Busy and Active

Join a sports team. Joining a sports team, whether it's a team at your school or in your community, is a great way to stay out of trouble. Whether you're playing soccer, basketball, or baseball, team sports are a great way to meet interesting, athletic, and driven people and to find something to do other than get into trouble. You don't have to be the next LeBron to join a sports team and start making some meaningful connections with people.
- You can even focus on becoming a leader on the team so you can use even more of your energy that way.
- Joining a sports team will also provide you with weekly exercise, which can help you calm down and will keep you from using your energy the wrong way.

Join a club. If sports aren't your thing, you can always join a club, whether it's through regular school, your church, the Jewish Community Center - JCC, or another community organization. You can join an art club, French club, cooking club, debating club, or really all sorts of clubs that can help you focus on something you care about that doesn't have to do with annoying your teachers or not doing your homework.
- You can join a few clubs at first to get a feel of what would appeal to you the most.

Go volunteering. Volunteering is another great way to stay out of trouble and to put things in perspective. You may not be as tempted to cause a ruckus in school or in your neighborhood after you spend some time with people who are truly in need. If you're too young to do it on your own, go with a parent to a volunteering event, whether you're helping people learn to read, cleaning up a local park, or working in a soup kitchen. Find something that is meaningful to you and commit to it at least once a week.
- Though your schedule doesn't have to be absolutely jam packed for you to stay out of trouble, doing a few things that matter to you each week can help you focus on what's important.

Be an active student. You don't have to get straight As to stay out of trouble -- but it certainly won't hurt you. Being an active student means showing up on time, not skipping class, raising your hand when you have questions, and doing the work in advance so you can participate. If you focus on being a good student, then you can stop thinking about ways to annoy your teachers or your parents.
- Find a few subjects that you really care about and work on knowing as much as you can about them. You don't have to find absolutely everything interesting, but picking at least one or two subjects that mean something to you can make a difference.
- Set goals for improving your grades. You don't have to get perfect scores on every test, but you can aim to go from a B to a B+ average in Math, for example.

Read as much as you can. Reading can help you improve your vocabulary and comprehension skills, become more knowledgeable and intelligent, and to see the world in a whole new way. What's more, if you're reading, then you're not getting into trouble. Getting truly immersed in a story or stories can help you forget the hours passing by and to be transported to a whole new world -- a world where you're just an observer. Starting by reading for just 20 minutes before bedtime every night can help you develop an addicting lifelong habit.
- Read a variety of books, from science fiction to fantasy, to see what genres you like the most.

Create something. Getting creative is another great way to stay out of trouble. You can write a play and perform it with your friends, write a story, draw something, make a ceramic pot, decorate your room as if it were a rainforest, and accomplish a number of other creative tasks. Using your mind to create something completely new and original is a great use of your energy and will keep you from getting creative when it comes to following the rules.
- You can even sign up for an art class after school, or ask your art teacher if she has any extra projects in store for you.

EditAvoiding Conflict

Don't gossip. One way to avoid any kind of conflict is to not gossip, whether you're gossiping about your teachers, your classmates, your friends in the neighborhood, or even your cousins. Gossiping about other people only sends bad vibes, and this will inevitably get back to people in the end. You should focus on saying positive things about people, even if nobody else is feeling very positive, if you want to stay out of trouble.
- If you're saying bad stuff about people, it's more likely than not that it will eventually get back to them. And if it does, you may be in for some big trouble.

Don't try to reason with unreasonable people. One of the reasons you may be getting in trouble is because you find the need to defend or explain yourself to people who just aren't willing to listen. If you and a kid in your gym class or down the street just don't get along, then stay away. Resist the urge to set the record straight, tell people why they're acting poorly, or just to stick your head somewhere where it doesn't belong. Instead, get as much distance between you and volatile or annoying people as possible, and you'll be much more likely to stay out of trouble.
- Reasoning with people who don't want to hear it is guaranteed to get you nowhere, fast. It's a waste of both time and energy.

Avoid fighting. Obviously, if you're the kind of kid who always gets into fights, then this is easier said than done. But if you really want to stay out of trouble, then you have to know how to walk away from a fight. If someone is trying to provoke you, calling you names, or just getting all up in your face, learn to take deep breaths, walk away, and keep your cool. Pouncing on those people, getting hurt, and getting sent to the principal's office or to your room is just no fun, so the next time the opportunity to fight presents itself, remind yourself that, even if it may feel good to punch someone for a few seconds, long term, it'll only do you harm.
- Literally just walk away. If someone is coming at you, put your hands up and leave. This does not make you a coward -- it makes you smart.

Don't talk back to your teachers. You won't be best friends with all of your teachers, no matter how hard you try, and there will always be a teacher or two that you just don't get along with. Even if you really disagree with everything your teacher is saying, you should just be polite, try to do the best you can, and avoid any arguments that may arise. If your teachers asks you to do something, do it (unless it's completely unreasonable). This is not the time to look tough or to say what's really on your mind.
- When you're in school, it's time to be well-behaved and to get on with your studies. When you become an adult and start your own career path, you can begin to question authority and the world around you a bit more openly, but in the beginning, you have to play the game.

Be polite to everyone. Being kind and polite can go a long way in helping you stay out of trouble. Say "Please" and "Thank You" and be polite to everyone, from a random neighbor who passes by you every morning to the crossing guard. Developing a habit of good manners and good social skills will help you throughout your life, and it's a great way to keep yourself out of trouble. If you're rude or mean to people, you'll develop a reputation of being a bad seed, and no one will be in your court when you are called into question.
- This means be nice to your family members, too. Don't think that they know you too well for you to really be polite around them.

Take good care of yourself. You may not think that getting enough rest, eating three healthy meals, and getting some form of exercise every day has anything to with staying out of trouble, but you're wrong. Taking care of your body means you're taking care of your mind, and if your body and mind are in good shape, you're less likely to act out or get in trouble; for example, if you're hungry or exhausted from staying up all night playing videogames, you're much more likely to say something rude to an adult without meaning to.
- Also, if you're focusing on your own well-being, then you won't have time to cause trouble!

EditTips

Be a nice person.

Avoid blaming/being mean in school. Teachers will have a harder time joining your side.

Even if your friends, are getting bullied or something don't stick up for them, tell a teacher. If it's physical activity while you're with your friend, by all means stand up for her/him tell a teacher, but don't go over board.