How to Break Your Cat's Cycle of Xenophobia (Fear of Strangers)

Sometimes cats that aren't necessarily bothered by changes within the house can react problematically with the arrival of company. The problem may not have been caused by lack of social interaction with enough people when it was a kitten, but it might be brought about by a single unfortunate troubling experience with a noisy, frightening, and unkind guest who unwittingly taught the cat to avoid all contact with future strangers, thus resulting in xenophobia or the fear of strangers.

If you're lost about how to solve this dilemma with your cat being afraid of people coming over, read on.

EditSteps

EditRestraint Method

Block the cat from attempting to escape or avoid exposure to the challenge that is being presented to it. When the cat succeeds in escaping, besides protecting it from the danger he perceives it to be, it's enabling him to learn how to cope on his own. Put the cat on a leash (if the cat is comfortable with wearing a harness or collar) or keep the cat in a portable cage for little amounts of time. This is so he can be around the guests. The remainder of these steps will assume you're using a cage.
Place the cage in the room where people are often invited to sit and relax before the guests arrive. This helps your cat familiarize itself in this certain room.
Choose your guest carefully. The more guests there are, the better, but the cat should start by having guests around that he knows, like family members. Ideally, they should be patient people, who have cats of their own and aren't scared of cats in any way.
Have the guests ring the doorbell instead of using a key. The cat's first reaction is the alarm and he usually attempts to escape. But the cage prevents him from doing so. Have the guest enter the house and you'll see the cat calm down quickly. Having the guest repeat this process should help the cat associate with getting used to the doorbell and having non-threatening guests around.
Have the guests sit in the room with the cat, at a short distance from him. It's also important that the cat gets used to having their presence around him in gradual stages over time. Since his cage has protected him from avoiding everybody, he should settle down quickly.
Progress can be sped up by quelling the cat's nervousness and overreactions with a small sedative treatment like Valium, but only under the direction of your veterinarian. However, it is very important that the cat doesn't become dependent on drugs. You should withdraw giving the sedative after a few days, so his tolerance is increasingly learned, and decreasingly drug dependent. The drugs are simply a vehicle for exposing the sufferer to his problem. On or off drugs, and with frequent exposure to as many different people as possible under good conditions, the cat should soon view its territory as neutral space and "outside" company in it no longer a threat.
This next step is a little more invasive toward the cat. Ask the guests to sit more closely to the cat's cage, a little at a time, so he can become familiar with their presence. The guests should not attempt to touch or speak to the cat until he's comfortable with their presence.
Remove the cat from his cage and restrain him with a harness or leash when visitors arrive. They should offer food like before. Holding the cat, approach your guests. This however, should be done calmly and slowly so he doesn't go into a state of panic like he used to before. Make sure the guests will also be calm and kind to the cat. Over time, you can allow the guests to stroke and pet him. It may not be alright to let the guest hold the cat because holding is considered an enclosing action denying him escape and this requires his full confidence.
- It may be a good idea to have the guest approach the cat face to face at his level instead of intimidating him by bending over him. If your guest refrains from getting on the floor, place the cat either on the leash, on top of cage, or onto a table should be fine since this brings them to eye level with each other. Please do make sure, however, all visitors are safe and prepared if the cat decides to lash out and attack out of fear.

EditNo Restraint Method

Provide the cat with a safe area to go to before the strangers arrive. This is an area where the cat can completely avoid guests. Put water, food, and a litter box there. Put the cat there and let her remain there while guests come over. That way, the cat can stop associating the presence of guests in the home with anxiety.
Find your cat's "starting distance". Have a (patient) guest come as close as he or she can to your cat before the cat displays any signs of anxiety or aggression.
Ask the guest to remain motionless (standing or sitting). Bring the cat out of the safe area and put her at the starting distance.
- If the cat remains calm, reward her behavior with treats, play, or petting and attention for a few minutes, then put her back in the safe area. You can repeat this exercise a few times while your guest is visiting.
- If the cat seems uncomfortable, move her further away until she is calm, and reward her as just outlined.
Decrease the distance by a few inches. Keep doing these sessions, each time watching your cat carefully, and increasing the distance if she becomes anxious. Eventually, the cat will be calm enough to remain within arm's reach of the guest.
- Anti-anxiety medication can help with this process also.
Find the starting distance for when your guest is not motionless. Ask your guest to pace back and forth or make any movement that you want your cat to get accustomed to. You may find that the starting distance is longer - some cats are more timid about movement. Repeat the exercises with your guest moving so that your cat becomes desensitized.