How to Have the Dreams You Want

Dreams usually vary between two extremes: they are either extremely pleasant or extremely unpleasant. Others lie somewhere in between, and are simply bizarre and confusing. Regardless of how random they may seem, though, dreams are always tied to some degree to our everyday lives. They reflect our hopes and fears about the future, and even help us revisit our pasts.

Whether you want to learn how to lucid dream (i.e. actively control and be aware of your dreams while sleeping) or you simply want to learn how to have more pleasant dreams, there are a number of things you can do. Read this article to learn how.

Edit Steps

Part One: Having Better Dreams

Go to bed earlier. A sleep study conducted in 2011 for the journal Sleep and Biological Rhythms concluded that university students who stayed up later tended to have more unpleasant dreams than those who hit the sack earlier.^[1]
- One potential explanation for this finding is that the stress hormone cortisol is released in the early morning, a time in which the night-owls were likely in REM (Rapid Eye Movement), or dream, sleep.^[2]

Control your diet. Nightmares can be triggered by a variety of things, including late-night snacking, alcohol, caffeine, or cigarettes.^[3] If you have persistent nightmares, then consider cutting out these substances, and don't eat for two hours before you go to sleep.

Tackle stress. Oftentimes, negative dreams are a reflection of the stress or anxiety we are experiencing in our everyday lives.^[4] Try not to dwell on these things while you are laying in bed trying to fall asleep. Instead, take a moment to clear your head and think of positive things.
- Avoid watching violent, scary, or otherwise stressful movies and television shows before going to bed, as these can cause nightmares.^[5]
- Getting regular exercise can help you ease stress levels, have better dreams, and get to sleep faster.^[6] Don't exercise too close to bedtime, however, as this can keep you up.

Put roses in your bedroom. Scientists conducted a dream study in which women were exposed to the scent of roses throughout the night for 30 nights, and reported having more pleasant dreams than usual.^[7] It is believed that the scent elicits positive emotions, which in turn make dreams more pleasant.
- You can also use rose-scented oils, body lotions, or candles. Be sure to blow out the candles before going to sleep, however, to prevent fires.

Part Two: Learning How to Lucid Dream

Pay attention to your dreams. Many people believe that learning how to notice and remember your dreams is the first step to achieving lucid dreams.^[8] Here are some ways to better remember your dreams:
- Get enough sleep. Dreams occur during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, a phase of the sleep cycle.^[9] If you are not sleeping enough, or frequently wake up throughout the night, your REM cycles may be getting interrupted.
- Upon waking up, ask yourself what you dreamt.^[10] Part of the reason people "forget" their dreams is because they wake up and immediately begin thinking about other things. Get in the habit of asking yourself this question every single morning.
- Before you go to bed, remind yourself that you plan on waking up and fully recalling your dreams. This will eventually train your subconscious to pay better attention to your dreams.
- Write down your dreams. Do this immediately after you wake up, and keep a journal and pen at your bedside so that you can quickly write down your dreams before you forget them. This will also help you notice your dream patterns over time.

Perform reality checks. Reality checks are tests that you can perform, both while dreaming and while awake, that help you differentiate between the real world and the dream world. Successfully performing a reality check while asleep can help you trigger a lucid dream, as your dream self becomes aware of its state. Try the following reality check tests:
- Try to fly. Obviously, this will only work in a dream. ^[11]
- Look at your reflection in the mirror. If your reflection is distorted, blurry, or not there, then you are probably dreaming.^[12]
- Try to read a clock. The image will be too blurry to read in a dream. ^[13]
- Flick the light switches on and off. Light switches do not work in the dream world.
- Look at your palms. Check to see if they look normal from close-up.
- Try using an electronic device. Computers and telephones do not work properly in dreams.
- Try to put an item, such as a pencil, through your hand, (the palm). If you are dreaming, the pencil will either go through inexplicably or hang in the air around your hand. If you aren't you'll get a graphite mark on your hand.

Visualize your lucid dream. Before you go to bed, decide what you want to dream about.^[14] Paint a vivid image of your surroundings, and be sure to include details like sites, sounds, and smells. Put yourself in the scene, and try moving around within it.
- Pay attention to the sensations of breathing and walking around in this dreamscape. Though you are not yet dreaming, tell yourself "I'm in a dream." Continue this visualization technique until you have fallen asleep.
- Choose your ideal location for optimal results.

Meditate before going to bed. Being able to lucid dream requires that you be fully self-aware and undistracted by thoughts that relate to your waking life. While you are laying in bed trying to fall asleep, clear your head of distracting thoughts, and focus all of your attention on the fact that you are falling asleep and about to enter a dream state.

Play video games. One psychologist believes that video games familiarize people with operating in an alternating reality and viewing oneself from outside ones own body, skills that translate into the dream world.^[15] Her research concluded that people who played video games were more likely to experience lucid dreams, and were better at controlling them.^[16]
- Don't play violent video games before going to bed, as these can provoke nightmares.

Edit Tips

Completely focus on what you want to dream, not sleeping. With this you forget having to sleep and fall asleep naturally without trying.

Some people have a natural tendency toward lucid dreaming, and can achieve this state with little or no practice. Others may have to work harder to see results, so give yourself time.

Usually if you think something terrible your dream will be unpleasant. Try and dream a peaceful dream.

Perform reality checks on a daily basis, and do them throughout the day in your waking life so that you can train your subconscious mind to do them while dreaming.

If you're in a relaxed state, you will know your body is trying to get you to sleep when you start to feel itchy and fidgety. So try and ignore these signals and stay still, keep your eyes closed and your thoughts. With practice, you may be able to reach the state between sleep and non sleep, which will then allow a lucid dream.